My New Family Member

So, up until recently I had a pretty sorry collection of cutlery in my silverware drawer. I did get a decent paring knife and serrated knife from a friend of mine for Christmas, but other than that my kitchen knives were sorry little pieces of crap that I got for free with an order from Omaha Steaks. They're cheaply made, with hollow plastic handles, and they don't stand up well to abuse - I lost the tip of the chef's knife in a half-frozen wad of ground chuck I was trying to break up for a batch of chili. Stabbing frozen meat isn't good for cheap cutlery, apparently. And I'd also like to take this opportunity to apologize for whatever intestinal distress it caused to whomever it was at my church's chili cook-off who ate the bowl that had that tip in it (KIDDING).

In any event, I decided to invest in a proper, quality cook's knife. A little research and I settled on Global as the one I wanted. It may or may not be as good as the Wusthof brand, but it's a little cheaper and I'm not a serious cook anyway. Plus, I like the way the handle looks.

I love that knife. After a few years of using that cheap tip-free knife, I really didn't know what to expect. I was shocked at how smoothly and easily my Global went through a potato and I nearly wept with pride at the sight of a pile of potato slices so thin you could almost see through them. I enjoyed using my Global so much that I went ahead and sliced up half a dozen more potatoes and for dinner I ate nothing but roasted, sliced potatoes that were tossed with a little rosemary, garlic, and olive oil.

Really, it's an incredible knife. It cuts through anything with ease - raw potatoes, cheap cuts of beef, thick slabs of cooked bacon, and fingernails. Yeah, fingernails. Instead of crumbling cooked bacon with my fingers like any smart person, I broke out the Global again to slice up a few rashers of bacon. Bad idea - long story short, the greasy bacon was slippery, I'm naturally clutzy, and I'm currently typing this with my left index finger swaddled in gauze and half of my fingernail down the garbage disposal. THAT hurt like you wouldn't believe, but at least my finger is intact - just bloody and SCREAMING IN PAIN.

But I still love my new Global. I may name it. Hell, I may even baptize it.